Surfin' on a Rocket.

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More tales from the crypt.

Here are some more tidbits from hell. For your enjoyment.

Me: Thank you for calling Harrah's Las Vegas, this is Charity, how can I help you?

Loser: Yeah, see what you've got for one of your best guests for tonight and tomorrow.

Me: *stifling snickers*

(Note: tonight and tomorrow we're completely booked in Vegas. But, I decide to humor the guy and look up his player's card number.)

Me: And what is your Total Rewards card number please?

Loser: blah-blah-boo-boo, etc.

Me: I see you're a gold card holder with us, Mr. Dorkydork (Yup, bottom of the totem pole for this guy).

Loser: Yeah, you got anything this weekend?

It was with great "pain" that I told Mr. Dorkydork that he apparently wasn't one of our best guests after all. Well, I didn't say that. But oh, the temptation.

**********

I also take calls for eHarrahs, which is basically tech support for the dummies who try to log into our web site and shouldn't really have bought a computer to begin with.

Me: Thank you for calling Harrahs dot com, my name is Charity, how can I help you?

Ghetto tard: Yeeeehhh, I cain't log eeen.

Me: Have you logged on to the web site before?

Ghetto tard: Yeeehhh, and it say dat I hafta put in a peeein?

Me: That's correct, if you've logged in with us before, you have a four-digit PIN that you use to log in.

Ghetto tard: Wellll, I try dat, and it don't work. It say somethin for da heeeint, but don't know what dat eeis. (Note: Customers rarely type in a PIN hint when they initially set up a PIN that actually helps them remember the PIN, which is always a four-digit number. It's always something like "mother's maiden name" or "bubba" or some shit that they'll never figure out.)

Me: Alright, I'll go ahead and reset the PIN. So what you need to do now, is if you haven't already closed the page, do so and in a few minutes, you'll log back in to option TWO.

Ghetto tard: Yeehh, option two?

Me: Yes.

Ghetto tard: Where dat?

Me: Scroll down from option one.

Ghetto tard: I don't see it.

Me: Well, you were supposed to close the page first. But, do you see option one?

Ghetto tard: Yeeah, it right there, and I put my card in ...

Me: NO, ma'am, you need to use option TWO.

Ghetto tard: It say, option one, put in your cahd numbah...

Me: NO, scroll DOWN until you see option TWO.

Ghetto tard: Where dat...Ohhhh, dere it is.

Me: Okay, now make sure you put in your card number .. but wait, do you still have anything in option one?

Ghetto tard: Yeehh, it have my cahd numbah.

Me: Okay, you need to delete that out before you put your number into option two.

So yeah. You get the idea.

**********

Retard: Yes ma'am, I want to come in this Sunday, August 17th.

Me: Great, do you have any coupons, offers, promotions..?

Retard: Yes ma'am, my offer code is blahblahboo...etc

Me: Alright, it appears as if this card is valid for Monday through Thursday.

Retard: Right.

Me: ... And you want to come in on Sunday.

Retard: Right.

Me: ... But your coupon is good for only Monday through Thursday.

Retard: So I can't use it on Sunday?

Me: ... No. If a coupon is good for Monday....through....Thursday, then it wouldn't be good on a Sunday, would it?

Retard: Thank you. *click*

**********

Well, that's all for now. More to come in the future, I'm quite certain.

2:23 a.m. - 2003-08-16

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