Surfin' on a Rocket. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This just in. TOMMY LEE VISITED BY GHOST OF JOHN BONHAM! States Lee, "I was like, 'Whoa, man.'" Sources state that according to Lee, the ghost of Bonzo himself paid Lee a visit while Lee was "sleeping." It was later clarified that Lee was just passed out on screwdrivers, ibuprofen, and Pez candy. "It's not every day that a member of Led Zeppelin comes back from the dead, man," Lee was overheard saying to a close friend. When it was brought to Lee's attention that Bonham was actually the only member of Zeppelin to have died, Lee commented, "Oh. Seriously?" According to Lee, the ghost appeared at approximately "9 am or 10 am or some shit like that." Lee was apparently too hungover to be shocked by the apparition, but nonetheless managed to have a conversation with the deceased drummer. "Yeah, Bonzo was like, 'Dude, what the hell are you doing trying to play the guitar like you're some fucking talented prick?'" Lee recalls. "He was like, 'At least people actually bought Motley Crue albums. But, this shit? Even Vince fucking Neil can sing better than you can, jackass.'" Lee paused to wipe an escaping tear from his bloodshot eyes. "I told him, 'Look Bozo, um. Bonzo. I'm trying to prove myself to the world that I can do something with myself besides wank behind a set of drums.'" Lee couldn't recall much following that, but did remember that Bonzo offered one final piece of advice: "Look kid, that blonde bimbo you were banging before? Get that bitch back. You can beat the shit out of that Kid Cock faggot. Because THOSE are some fucking titties, man." Lee recalls that Bonzo took a swig of Lee's vodka before vanishing into thin air. Lee seemed rather shaken up by the incident, but it was later clarified that he was just cold from being completely naked from his previous alcoholic bout. Commented Crue bandmate Nikki Sixx on the incident, "Eh, the fucker was probably just hallucinating. Did I ever tell you guys about my near-death experience?" Bandmate Vince Neil could not be reached for comment, as the line at McDonalds was too fucking long. 1:22 a.m. - 2003-06-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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